The Secret to My Sucess

Yesterday, the boys and I went up to Ohio to visit my mom for her birthday.  We had a nice visit and the boys even got to ride in a combine. 

Although to visit was fun, one question that my mom asked me really jumped out, she asked me how staying at home with the boys compared with my corporate job.  My mom was a stay-at-home mom and always talked about how much work she did and how it was so hard, so I knew that it was a bit of a loaded question.  I considered just giving her the answer that she wanted (it was her birthday) but instead I was honest and told her it was a lot easier than the corporate job but it takes a while to get used to getting paid in hugs and giggles instead of dollars.

I know why being a stay-at-home parent was hard for my mom.  She did a good job, but she is a bit of a loner who doesn't keep many friends.  She didn't have a community of people to get together with and do "parent things", and she didn't have me involved in any activities so she was 100% responsible for my entertainment.

I have had sucessful days and less sucessful days in the past few weeks.  The sucess of each day is almost totally dependent on having a flexible plan and schedule in place with one or two highlight activities.  Disasterous days happen on days where there is no plan or if the plan gets thrown off and I don't realize it quickly enough and move on to the next activity before extreme boredom sets in.

My days go something like this:

8am - Wakeup, get dressed, talk about what we're doing for the day (its important to let them know the plan)
8:15 - Breakfast - usually something I've already cooked and can warm up quickly - pancakes and waffles are great for this (I make them from scratch and hide healthy stuff in there)!
8:45 - Talk about the day again then let the boys do some play on their own.
9:15 or so - Start the main thing for the day.  It could be a trip to the park or a class or the library or on Fridays the grocery store
9:45 - Snack - don't miss this!!
11:30 - Ask about lunch, my kids are pretty flexible about lunch time so they can make it until 12:00 or 12:15 but you can't assume that they'll make it.
12:45 to 1:15 get home for Eli's nap time.  Eli can make it to 1:30 but it starts to get a little iffy.  Kai has a quiet time during Eli's nap.  Sometimes Kai will nap but mostly he just plays in his room.
1:15-3:00 - ME TIME!!  I will do about 30 minutes of house work then work on my business, study, or read for pleasure.
3:05 - Snack, be ready because they're hungry (Kai is usually out of his room a little before this but he prefers eating with Eli and sometimes he even helps me get it ready).
If the schedule has been kept reasonably well, the boys are really flexible and happy from here until dinner time.  Some days we have something planned like Karate or a trip to the swimming pool and some days we just do whatever the boys come up with like playing golf in the back yard or something quieter inside like reading or coloring.  I play the afternoons by ear and have a list of go-to things to get everyone back to their happy place if someone catches a case of the grumpys.

So, there you have it.  The above schedule works for me and my boys and makes this "job" seem like a play date.  Of course, I would love to get some pointers from other professional full-time parents.  Leave a comment and help a brother out if you can!

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. - Proverbs 16:9

Finally A 5-Day "Work" Week!

After three weeks of doing this daddy thing part without "working" a full week, the fourth week was the moment of truth and I am glad to report that everyone survived the week pretty well and we are looking forward to full-week #2 of The Daddy Experiment.

Although we are just three boys playing all day long every day, we still have to eat.  I like to let the boys make me breakfast and on Monday they made me some yummy pancakes. 



Of course, it's late June so it is hot outside.  No better way to cool off then with a trip to the pool.  Kai is afraid of the big pool so we just splash around at the baby pool.  We are starting individual swim lessons next week so hopefully we can move in to the big pool soon.  Daddy would like to cool down a bit too.

Of course, we rode the rickshaw to the park a few times.  Here we are at Cool Creek Park in Westfield.  They have some awesome trails back in the woods where its nice and cool.  There is also some swings along the way so that tired boys can stop for a short rest.

My Aunt Bee and my Grandma Lesnet used to always tell me that "you have to be watched" while we played board games.  Well, I turned my head away from Eli for about 30 seconds and he had climbed in to the bath tub in our Master bath and turned on the water.  I guess Eli gets his "have to be watched-ness" from me.

Kai started Taekwondo this week up with ATA in Noblesville.  Mr. Saldivar made the class super fun and Kai really warmed up to it.  Kai is a pretty quiet dude (unless he's at home with the family) and I think learning to kick a little tail will bring him out of his shell a bit.  At the end of class they did some practical self defense stuff and Mr. Saldivar had the kids to an eye swipe to get away from a "bad guy" with their "tiger claw".  Kai and the other kids loved it and Eli has been giving the tiger claw swipe while yelling "swipe" since the class...awesome!

On Friday, our neighborhood had their annual 4th of July parade.  A parade isn't a parade without a fire truck and we don't do things half way in our neighborhood so all the kids with their decorated bikes, wagons, powerwheels, and scooters followed the fire truck down the street to the neighborhood park.

Here is Kai and mom in the parade.  Kai's bike was well decorated and he liked it but also couldn't wait to get all of the streamers off of his bike and off of his helmet.

Although the parade was mostly an early celebration of the upcoming Independence Day holiday, I took it as a celebration of us boys surviving our first full week of The Daddy Experiment.

This weekend was pretty awesome too as I had a track meet on Saturday morning, then a quiet Saturday afternoon and evening with the family.  Sunday was pretty fun too as we played some mini golf and spent some time in the arcade in the morning followed by some celebrations at the new Carmel campus of Genesis Church.  In the late evening, Kai and I went to Pebble Brook Golf Course and played a few holes before bedtime.

A new "work" week starts in a few hours so its time for me to sign off and get to bed.  We have another action packed week ahead of us and I'm going to need my rest to keep up with these crazy boys.

[ God’s Promise to David ] After the king was settled in his palace and the LORD had given him rest from all his enemies around him, - 2 Samuel 7:1

The High Fives and Humility

Each week, one of the coaches at the Body in Training Track Club leads the Thursday devotions by giving a little talk about the topic of the week.  There have been various themes like doing your best, salvation, and serving others.  This week, we are discussing humility which I must have all figured out because I am the keynote speaker this week (actually I signed up, I don't think anyone would ever hand pick me to speak on such a weighty subject).

As we go through life, some things that we learn affect us down to our very core.  Some of those things are profound because they are complex and you have to think about it for a long time before you have that ah-ha moment.  Others are quite simple but they piece many things together and since they are simple, they have an immediate impact on you and you have perfect recall that you can use whenever you need it.

The super simple, life changing, and powerful thing that I learned back in the summer of 1997 was The High Fives.  I was working at a youth athletic camp north of Cincinnati through Athletes in Action and the director of the camp taught us all The High Fives.  The High Fives are five principals that the director's father had put together as a guide to proper living. 

The High Fives are simple and here they are:

1.    Fear God – Be continually mindful of God and His awesomeness

                  a.       Deuteronomy 10:12-13
                  b.      Proverbs 12:27

2.   Be Yourself – You are God’s workmanship, embrace your uniqueness

                   a.       Psalm 139:13-14
                   b.      Romans 12:4-6a
                   c.       Ephesians 2:10

3.   Do Your Best – Your best doesn’t mean 99% effort

                  a.       Colossians 3:17, 23-24
                  b.      Hebrews 12:1
                  c.       Philippians 3:14

4.   Be Honest – Lies will catch up with you, somehow the truth always comes out

                  a.       Proverbs 12:22
                  b.      Colossians 3:9
                  c.       Proverbs 19:22

5.   Be A Mirror – Reflect God’s awesomeness to others and reflect what other’s say to you up to God

                  a.       Philippians 2:3-5
                  b.      1 Peter 4:10
                  c.       Luke 14:11

So, what does The High Fives have to do with humility?  I have found that they are the answer for nearly every situation I have ever been in and I'm pretty sure that they can be that for you (and my athletes too).  This is about humility though so I will talk through these principals and help you see how each of them point you to a more humble and powerful life.

When people hear Fear God, people are often a little confused by what that means.  Isn't God supposed to be our Father in Heaven?  Doesn't everyone say that He's loving, compassionate, and generous?  That doesn't sound like someone that I would be afraid of.  It is true that God is more loving and generous than we can fathom but he is also absolutely perfect, absolutely powerful, and he is absolutely everywhere.  Being constantly mindful of His absoluteness should give you a healthy and continuous reverence for Him.  It's hard to think that you're a big deal when you compare your awesomeness with His awesomeness.

If you are trying to be something that God did not create you to be then you are never going to be happy.  You (and me) are God's workmanship, he made each of us unique with different gifts and passions.  Embrace what makes you amazing and give God the glory as you love nearly every minute of your life.

Doing your best sounds pretty cliche but so few people really give 100%.  Most of the time, it isn't even appropriate to give a mere 100%, you have to give something like 110% or 150% or whatever.  You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that giving more than 100% isn't possible, but these exagerated percentages show how rarely we really do our very best.  God wants us to do things to the very best of our abilities, with maximum effort, using all of the gifts and resources than He has given to us.  If you truly do everything with maximum effort, you will be too busy and effective in whatever you're doing to worry about bragging.

Be honest, sounds simple enough, but is it?  If you are truly honest, you know that whatever you just did that you were puffing your chest out about could have been done better.  You may have won because you got a lucky bounce or another person got a bad break.  Only you know how much work you put in and how well you really performed.  Be honest with others and be honest with yourself and you will realize that there is always room for improvement (and if there is no room for improvement, that should be pretty humbling too).

Being a mirror is a great visual to the idea of reflecting God and His love to others.  Think of the mirror at 45 degrees where whatever shines down from above gets reflected to others and whatever is directed at the mirror from the ground level gets reflected up to heaven.  If you are being a good mirror then whatever gifts you have received from God will shine from you on to others to bless them.  The mirror also reflects things upward so whatever others tell you (whether good or bad), you should reflect those up to God and give him praise (of if they say bad things then send that up to God so that you don't have to dwell on it and you can continue to love those who say [or do] bad things to you).  Re-directing all praise that you receive from others up to God reminds us that we are using the gifts that He has given us to do good things and we are merely being good stewards of those gifts.

So go, live life, love others, and whenever you're in a situation where you don't know what to do or how to think, ask yourself, "am I following the High 5's?"

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. - 1 Peter 4:10

I'm Too Old For This Stuff

Some of you older readers may recall Danny Glover starring in Lethal Weapon as Roger Murtaugh where he says (more than once), "I'm too old for this $#!*".  Well today Mr. Murtaugh, I feel your pain...literally.  It's 1:00 in the morning and I can't sleep; I've got a fever, my legs are just short of cramping, and my tummy is really angry at me for gulping down a Blooming Onion on Sunday evening.

So...what did I do that has me repeating movie lines from Roger Murtaugh?  Well, my day went a little something like this:

Wake up call from 20 month old Eli at 7:15 in the morning, then Kai up at 7:45.  Breakfast and play time until 9:30.  Followed by a quick snack then a bike ride (rickshaw style with both boys in the bike trailer) down to Founder's Park in Carmel which is a 10 mile round trip.  We got back from the park about noon and had some lunch, Eli went down for a nap around 12:30 (put him out of his misery really, he was wiped out).  Eli napped from 12:30 - 2 while Kai played semi-quietly in his room.  Up at 2, got a snack then off to the neighborhood pool (via bicycle) for a relaxing dip on a 90+ degree and very windy day.  Back from the pool about 3:45 because Eli filled up his swim diaper at the pool and Super Dad was unprepared to change it at the pool house.

At 4:00, Stephanie and I closed on our house for like the 1,000th time as we refinanced.  We have a 10 year note now...awesome!!

After closing was over it was dinner time and then off to track practice which starts at 6:00.  I haven't mentioned it on this blog but I coach hurdles and jumps for Body In Training Track club here in Noblesville.  Body in Training is a faith-based track club with athletes ranging from 5-18.  Although I am ancient and it's been a while since my track "stud" days at Purdue, I do the workouts with the athletes so that they can see what they are supposed to do and I can get a little workout in myself.  Today's workout was a sprint drill and hurdle drill warm-up followed by several four-step down / backs, three step work, some hurdle work through the curves, followed by a couple of laps of speed makers.  All of that coupled with the high heat today and I was the only one walking well at the end of it...I really put the kids through it today but they all got better too.

When I got home, Kai wanted to go for a bike ride on his bike down to a tunnel that is about a mile away.  He got a new bike helmet that he loves (its green) so he is totally in love with riding his bike now.  He rides very quickly but he is a little afraid down hills so he needs me to grab his bike when we go down hills.  Our current set up is that rides his bike super fast and I run a little behind him.  Of course, he's 4 so he changes speed a lot, good interval training for the old man...and I AM too old for this...

Tomorrow is another day and the boys have already asked about bike rides and going to the pool.  We'll see how daddy is doing, it may be a library and play in the backyard kind of day.

Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD. - Leviticus 19:32

Still Riding With Training Wheels

For those of you following the Daddy Experiment, today nearly marks the completion of 3 weeks of full-time parenthood.  Although it has been 3 weeks, I have yet to work a complete week by myself.

The first week was Memorial Day week where my lovely wife was home on Monday so week #1 was a mere four days.  The second week was even shorter as I took my father-in-law to Cooperstown, NY to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame so I only "worked" for two days by myself.  This week has also been an easier week as Stephanie took Monday off of work, so another four day "work" week.

So, a day after my last post and my last day of my "work week" the boys and I had a pretty awesome day.  Everyone behaved well and we stayed very busy.  Stephanie forgot some papers at home so the boys and I took a road trip down to see her and all of her co-workers.  Then lunch and nap then a rickshaw ride down to Founder's Park in Carmel.  Founder's Park is sweet with a ginormous sandbox and some cool climbers.

Here is a shot of Kai and Eli playing in the sand at their new favorite park.

On Tuesday evening, Kai really wanted to go fishing again but this time without Eli since Eli likes to go in to the pond and cut our fishing trips a little short.  We caught a lot of fish but Kai really liked the super tiny ones.  The one he's holding in this picture was the smallest one that he caught.

For Grandpa Eridon's Christmas / birthday we decided that he needed a trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY.  I planned our itinerary and Grandpa's twin brother booked the hotel rooms and we took off for Cooperstown to cross a big item off of Grandpa's "bucket list" (it was on mine too but this trip was about him and not me :) ).

To make the trip even more epic, we stopped in Erie, PA to see the Erie SeaWolves (Detroit's AA affiliate) play and in Syracuse, NY to see the Syracuse Sky Chiefs play.  We splurged for the best seats in the house and enjoyed watching some future big leaguers perfect their craft.

Here is Kit with C. Wolf, the Erie SeaWolves' mascot.

Here Kit and I are with Scootch and Pops, the mascots of the Sky Chiefs of Syracuse.  At this game we saw a pitcher go yard and a grand slam.  It looks like the Nationals have some good young talent in their farm system.

We had lunch at the Cooperstown Diner.  This place is just as small as it looks but it was AWESOME.  I had a 13 oz cheeseburger.  Love!

Here is Kit and I at the entrance to the Hall.  That cheesy grin was on both of our faces all day long.



Kit and Kris at the Birthplace of Baseball.  This stadium was really cool.

After our great trip to the Hall, the father-in-law caught some nasty stomach bug so I drove the entire way back from Syracuse to Bowling Green, Ohio.  After a short stop at the in-laws, I continued the trek back to Central Indiana with Stephanie and the boys.  In total, a 650 mile day of driving.

On Monday we all slept in a little bit and Stephanie took the day off of work.  Kai has swim lessons this week with the Noblesville Swim Club so we did that then spent the rest of the day getting re-acquainted with being home.

Tuesday brought reality back and the training wheels came off of the Daddy Experiment.  We have had a great week with picnic lunches every day after swim lessons, a rickshaw ride to visit some friends, and a friendly track meet with the Westfield Track Club.

We also fit in a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and check out super hero toys.  Kai really likes the Avengers, especially Ironman and Captain America.  I like The Hulk but Kai says that I play too rough when I'm Hulk and he wants me to be Ironman.

Here is Eli after our picnic and Potter's Bridge Park.  Happy boy!

The boys are loving The Daddy Experiment so far.  They really enjoy all of the time that they get to play together and all of the cool stuff we do most days.  They are super tired at nap times and bed time and they really get their money's worth at those times.

Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” - Galatians 4:6

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This - Day 5

The first four days of The Daddy Experiment were a breeze and I was feeling pretty good about this summer.  I even said that this stay at home thing was pretty simple but I knew that everything was new and that tougher days would be coming...well, those tougher days wasted no time and arrived here on day five.

This morning started earlier than I had hoped with Eli waking up on the wrong side of the bed at about 7:15.  I got Eli dressed and fed him some breakfast then went up to wake Kai up at about 7:45.  Kai woke up on the correct side of the bed but was too excited about going fishing today and we weren't getting to the pond fast enough for him.

Eli didn't take a very good nap yesterday and didn't sleep very long last night.  His ear is draining a lot and his nose is running constantly.  He was due for a rough day and he let me (and Kai) have it!  He just cried all morning long.  He wanted to be picked up and then he wanted to be put down then he wanted to be picked up and then put down when, none of it stopped his crying...it was a loud morning.  Although Kai us usually very helpful he wasn't as patient as usual as he really wanted to go fishing and we weren't fishing and we weren't making any progress toward fishing and we weren't talking about fishing so he kept asking about fishing.

The boys eat lunch at 11:00 and pretty much as soon as lunch was over I put Eli down for an early nap.  He didn't fight it and Kai was excited because we could finally start getting the fishing stuff ready.  We went worm hunting in the back yard and got the fishing poles that Grandpa and Grandma Eridon got him for Christmas all ready to go.

Once the fishing gear was ready and the worms were in the fridge, Kai was fine with taking a nap.  I got Kai upstairs, tucked him in and Eli woke up.  No problem except the only thing Eli wanted to do was play with Kai so he just screamed for Kai for about an hour (good thing our oldest is a sound sleeper), he also dropped a major deuce which could have been some of the cause of his irritability.  After he was all cleaned up, I finally let him go wake his big bro.

Its about 2:30 now and its time to go fishing.  We get everything together, hook up the bike trailer, and head to the neighborhood pond.  As we arrive, you can literally see fish jumping out of the water...cool!

We park the bike and head down by the pond, as I start to get Kai's hook baited I look up and see Eli running in the opposite direction.  Darn!  I run and bring him back, disaster averted!  I then get the worm on the hook and we cast the pole and we immediately get a hit.  A nice little five inch blue gill. We cast again and get another blue gill, but this one swallowed the hook.  I forget that I'm a dad for a moment and go in to surgeon mode and try to get the hook out.  While I'm not looking, Eli decided that the water looked warm and inviting so he jumped right in. 

The water was warm and I was smart enough to bring a couple of towels so I took off Eli's shoes, gave him a quick scrub in the pond and set him on another blanket so I could console my oldest who thinks his fishing time is over...see Eli didn't have shoes on any longer and he really dislikes the feel of grass on his feet so he wasn't leaving that towel no how no way!

So, we cast and catch a couple more fish and make my four year old the happiest little boy in the neighborhood today.

After fishing, we went home to put our things away and took a bike ride to the local park for a little play time.  Then mommy came home and daddy went to track practice.

Today got off to a rough start and was very exhausting.  It could have been much worse but it was a good wake up call that being a full-time parent isn't all fun and games (with some laundry mixed in) and that there are days when it is a difficult job.  I'm sure that there will be more difficult days in the future so I'm glad that today was a bit of a dry run for a tough day and I will be better prepared for the next one.

Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. - Deuteronomy 30:11



Four Days Makes One Week!

The nice thing about starting a new thing during the week of Memorial Day is that you only have to do it for four days instead of the usual five.  It is now Friday night and the whole family is in bed except me as I sit down to chronicle the last day of our first successful week for The Daddy Experiment!

Today started off with a little more crying than usual as the boys are getting tired from the extra action packed days that dad is planning for them.  I'm not the most sympathetic soul so I just let them cry it out and go about doing what needs to be done (I'm not heartless though, I do ask what's wrong and give hugs).  After all, Fridays are big days as they are grocery day and lawn mowing day so there isn't a lot of extra time for coddling youngsters.  The morning also started off with Eli taking a dry erase marker to our sofa.

So, breakfast then a trip to the grocery.  The grocery store is always an adventure and I have always been in awe of the parent who's kids are well behaved and quiet in a store.  This trip was no different as Kai and Eli wanted to take different types of shopping carts.  Kai wanted to take the standard type of cart so he could sit in the basket and help me put the groceries in it while Eli wanted to ride in the cart with the car in the front.  I let Eli choose the cart this time and that brought on the fireworks!  Kai erupted there in the produce section of Kroger and was pretty much inconsolable.  At that point, I told Kai that we were going to try this later, put our apples and bananas back and started for the exit.  He calmed down pretty quickly after that and we went about our shopping.

After the grocery, we went home, put the groceries away, had a quick snack, then hit to open road on the bike...well, we went for a quick spin around the neighborhood.  It was unseasonably cold today with a high of about 55 or so with high winds and some misting.

Lunch was some sausage that I had bought from the store.  I bought one of those one pound sausage rolls and fried up about 2/3 of it for lunch.  That was not enough, so I fried up the last third and they ate that up too along with sides of bread and fruit.  Wow, if these boys eat like this at four and one, I'm really going to be hurting when they are 15 and 12.  Note to self, put sausage on the shopping list and buy several packages.

Play time and then nap...really short naps...naps that make for grouchy and irritable children.  Also jacks with daddy's schedule as I've got stuff to do during that time (like catching up on my daytime TV).  Oh well, bundle everyone up and let them play while daddy does manly stuff like mowing the lawn. 

Next up is another bike ride to the local Dillon Park to play at their playground.  Eli loves their giant twisty slide and always amazes folks with his bravery there.  We stayed at the park until mom came home.  I'm so glad I don't have to be "professional dad" for a couple of days and I can just be plain ordinary dad while the wife is around.

So, there is the last day of my first week (sort of) of The Daddy Experiment.  Everyone made it through pretty well and Kai has already asked if summer can last until his birthday (in January).  I'm not too sure about that but after 4 days in, I have to say that this is going smoother than I thought.

Well, off to enjoy the weekend, tune back in next week for more installments of The Daddy Experiment!